✨ Deir el-Bahari Diaries: Pharaohs, Sandals, & a Goat’s Selfie Moment 🐐
Deir el-Bahari hit me like a desert mirage—three-tiered temples carved into golden cliffs, looking like a giant sandcastle built by ancient gods. The air smelled like hot stone and distant incense, and the only soundtrack was the *shush* of wind whipping through the valley. I half-expected a pharaoh to round the corner sipping a latte. ☕️
**The Goat Who Photobombed History 📸**
While gawking at Hatshepsut’s temple (queen of *”I’ll build my tomb where I want”* energy), a local goat trotted up, posed like he owned the place, and *bleated* until I snapped his pic. Later, a guide joked, “That’s Pharaoh Baaaaa-raham.” I died. 🐏
**Hidden Gem: The Quiet Court of Mentuhotep II**
Behind the main chaos, this smaller temple feels like a secret clubhouse. Faded hieroglyphs whisper stories, and you’ll have the place to yourself—just you, the ghosts, and maybe that goat’s cousin.
**Foodie Fix: Kebdet El-Falahiya**
Post-temple hunger? Hit this local joint in Luxor. Order *ta’ameya* (Egyptian falafel) stuffed with fava beans and herbs, served with tangy pickles. The owner, Uncle Mahmoud, will tease you for not finishing your plate. 😋
**Your Temple Run Itinerary ⏳**
- **7 AM:** Arrive early—beat the heat *and* the tour buses.
- **8 AM:** Marvel at Hatshepsut’s temple. Channel your inner royal. 👑
- **10 AM:** Wander to Mentuhotep II’s court. Pretend you’re Indiana Jones.
- **12 PM:** Lunch at Kebdet El-Falahiya. Hydrate like it’s your job.
- **2 PM:** Hike the cliff trail for insane Nile Valley views (bonus: bragging rights).
- **4 PM:** Sunset at the Colossi of Memnon—giant stone BFFs glowing pink. 🌅
**Pro Tips ✨**
- Wear *sturdy* sandals. Sand + stairs = slippery chaos.
- Bring a scarf. Sun protection *and* instant “archaeologist” vibes.
- Bargain hard with taxi drivers.