Lighthouse Cannibals: Qaytbay’s Stone-Shop Fortress

#summervacay Alexandria Harbor, Egypt • Built 1477 AD *"Sultan Qaytbay’s panic-stone puzzle, slapped together with cannibalized lighthouse blocks after earthquakes shattered antiquity’s wonder. Now: a $5 cannonball-tax fortress besieged by selfie fleets and salt-lashed ghosts."* CORE IDENTITY Pharaonic Frankenstein: 75% recycled Ptolemaic/Lighthouse granite → Ramses II’s face hides in the ramparts. Contradictions: Medieval death-star vs. crumbling Ottoman repairs • Sacred harbor sentinel vs. fishermen pissing off bastions. Ultimate Irony: Built to repel Crusaders → destroyed by British battleships (1882). THE ASSAULT (Via Harbor Chaos) Approach Ritual: ⦿ Taxi drops at fish-market gauntlet → "Castle ticket! Boat! Fish!" → sea-spray slaps face → smell: ammonia guts + cannon grease. ⦿ Soundtrack: Speedboats howling • Guards whistling "No bag!" • Muezzin’s echo drowning Ottoman ghost-cries. Fortress Penetration: ⦿ Gatehouse: Arrow slits framing yachts → spiral stairs slick with algae. ⦿ Courtyard: Cannon nests aimed at cruise ships • Ottoman graffiti: "Mehmed wuz here 1805". ⦿ Rooftop: 360° naval kill-zone → Pharos Lighthouse foundations visible underwater → like drowned teeth. TACTICAL FORTRESS RAID (Corsair Rules) Zone Why Dodge Fish Guts? Pro Privateer Move Lighthouse Graveyard Submerged ruins → Ptolemy’s stone stash Bribe boatman $10 → glass-bottom view → spot sphinx toes + fallen Colossus fingers Cannon Terrace Siege view to Agiba Beach Sunset ambush → frame bronze cannons against orange fire → guard demands $5 "barrel tax" Prison Pit Crusader captives carved crosses Phone flash down shaft → expose "Saladin fek u" scratched by Mamluk guard Ramses’ Revenge Pharaonic blocks in walls Find Ramses II’s elbow → 3rd course, west wall → smuggle chalk to trace cartouche Ottoman Latrine "Secret" sea-cave escape tunnel Crawl past algae → emerge near fish auction → avoid guard dogs with sardine bribes Siege Strategy: Tide Timing: High tide → waves mask smuggler tunnels • Low tide → walk lighthouse ruins (slippery death). Guard Baksheesh: $3 = climb forbidden minaret • $7 = hold Ottoman flintlock (replica). Fisherman Intel: Buy shrimp → they’ll point to underwater sphinx heads. SIEGE CONDITIONS Naval Onslaught: Party yachts blast Amr Diab → shatter fortress silence → guards shrug. Vendor Coastal Artillery: ⦿ "Lighthouse fragment!" = dyed concrete. ⦿ "Crusader sword!" = rebar with duct-tape hilt. Guard Traps: "No photo of sea!" (spy paranoia) → $3 "horizon permit". Climate Betrayal: Winter squalls → waves vault walls → soak "safe" zones. HIDDEN TRUTHS Granite Theft: Cleopatra’s Palace columns → sliced for Qaytbay’s gatehouse → chisel marks still raw. British Blunder: 1882 bombardment missed → one cannonball lodged in prayer niche → left as "humiliation trophy". Ghost Gunners: Night guards hear Arabic curses → 15th-century Mamluk crews reloading. Underwater Library? Rumored Ptolemaic vault beneath lighthouse rubble → scuba scans show voids →